


Memories

by Higgles123



Series: Tommy Shelby one shots [4]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 12:41:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20907824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Higgles123/pseuds/Higgles123





	Memories

The sun was shining after two days of grey skies, and you had brought the children out into the garden to enjoy some fresh air. Your baby daughter was asleep in her pram, shaded underneath the huge weeping willow by the lake, while your son was playing with his toy soldiers in the lush green grass.

Resting on a garden chair, stretched out like a cat, you closed your eyes for a second and listened to your son chatting animatedly to his tiny men. A shadow loomed over you and you knew immediately that it wasn’t the sun disappearing behind the clouds that had caused it. The smell of musk and cigarette smoke invaded your nostrils and you opened your eyes to smile up at your husband.

“So this is what you get up to all day while I’m working hard, is it?” Tommy smirked, leaning down to kiss you soundly.

“I’ll have you know that this is the first time I’ve have two minutes of peace all day,” you frowned indignantly. “That little angel in the pram has been attached to me like a limpet since you left this morning. I think she might be teething. But whatever her excuse, she’s been a nightmare.”

“Good job she’s cute, eh?” Tommy grinned, peering down at his sleeping daughter with a fond smile. “And what about you, Charlie boy?”

“My soldiers are getting ready to battle,” Charlie grinned proudly as Tommy bent down to see what he was doing. “Do you want to play with me?”

“If you like,” Tommy smiled, crouching down on his heels. “But I warn you now that I’m going to win.”

“Daddy,” Charlie chuckled. “That’s not how it works. I’m littler than you so you have to let me win.”

“Is that right?” Tommy smirked.

“Yep,” Charlie nodded. “Mummy told me so.”

Tommy looked up at you with a raised eyebrow, but you just shrugged casually and bit back a grin.

“Despite what Mama says, you only win at war if you’re the best,” Tommy informed his young son.

“But that’s not fair,” Charlie frowned, his bottom lip sticking out into a pout.

“Life’s not fair sometimes,” was Tommy’s answer.

“Bloody hell, Tommy, he’s four,” you rolled your eyes. “You don’t have to be all doom and gloom with him.”

“I’m not,” Tommy narrowed his eyes at you. “I’m just providing my child with the facts of life, and teaching him that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.”

“Well in this house it is,” you warned him in a voice that broached no argument.

Tommy took the hint and sighed. “Come on then, Charlie boy, let’s get this battle underway.”

You smiled as you watched the two of them. Tommy, true to his word, didn’t let Charlie win the battle just because of his age. Instead, he taught him how to out manoeuvre his enemy and anticipate their next move. The four-year-old boy listened intently and did everything his Dad showed him, and when he actually won fair and square (well, perhaps Tommy let him win a little bit) the delight on his face was immeasurable.

“Mummy, mummy I won,” he jumped up and down and clapped excitedly.

“Well done, sweetheart,” you kissed his cheek. “I knew you could do it.”

“What about me?” Tommy smirked. “Do I not get a kiss for being such a gracious loser?”

“Gracious loser is a phrase I never thought to acquaint with you,” you grinned, grabbing Tommy by his jacket lapels and kissing him sweetly. “You are a big softie deep down, Tommy Shelby.”

“Don’t tell anyone, Mrs Shelby” he winked before glancing over at Charlie who was waving something around proudly. “What have you got there, young man?”

“The grand prize,” Charlie giggled. “Do you want to see?”

Tommy nodded and Charlie hurried over to show him. But the second Tommy saw the golden charm in Charlie’s hand, his face thundered.

“Where did you get that?” he snatched it out of Charlie’s hand angrily.

“I found it,” Charlie swallowed nervously.

“Found it where exactly?” Tommy was furious.

“In your bedside drawer,” Charlie admitted as his bottom lip wobbled.

“So you stole it then?” Tommy’s eyes blazed. “You went into my bedroom and stole from me.”

“Tommy,” you frowned. “What on earth has gotten into you?”

“What’s gotten into me?” Tommy spun around and marched up to you angrily. “I’ll tell you what’s gotten into me. My son thinks it’s ok to steal from his own father.”

“Oh for goodness sakes,” you glared at him. “It’s a bloody charm; it’s hardly the fucking crown jewels. I can’t believe you’re creating such a fuss. You’re upsetting Charlie.”

“Good! I’m glad I’m upsetting him!” Tommy roared. “Because then he might understand just how upset he’s made me feel. And if you are going to take his side over this then you may as well be in league with him.”

“In league with him? Tommy, he’s four years old. He didn’t mean anything by it. I think you’re being just a little bit out of line.”

“No, I’m fucking not! I tell you what’s out of line,” Tommy got right into your face. “The fact that no one in this fucking family has got an ounce of respect for me!”

“Respect?” you snorted. “You’re shouting at a small boy for the most ridiculous thing. You should be appalled at yourself.”

“Charlie, get to your room now!” Tommy turned to your son, ignoring you completely. “You get to your room and I don’t want to see or hear you until I say so.”

“Don’t talk to him like that,” you leapt to his defence. “He’s not going anywhere because he hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“He’s stolen from me!” Tommy yelled.

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Charlie whimpered.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” you kissed the top of his head and glared at your husband. “There, he’s said sorry and now so should you.”

“I’m not saying sorry for anything,” Tommy shook his head. “The boy needs some discipline and if you’re not going to give it to him then I will.”

At this, Charlie burst into tears at the same time as the baby woke up, roused from all the shouting.

“Fuck you, Tommy,” you spat, picking up the baby before taking Charlie by the hand. You walked back across the garden and into the house without a second look.

“This isn’t over,” Tommy shouted after you.

……

You didn’t speak to Tommy for the rest of the afternoon. You didn’t even see him. You stayed upstairs in the nursery with the children. Frances brought you and the children lunch so you didn’t need to venture downstairs. You managed to get the baby back to sleep after an hour and you calmed Charlie down enough to talk to him about what had transpired.

“I didn’t mean to upset Daddy,” Charlie sobbed.

“I know, poppet,” you stroked his cheek. “But you do know it’s wrong to take things that don’t belong to you, don’t you?”

Charlie nodded, wiping at his eyes. “It was just so pretty and I thought it made good treasure.”

You patted his head reassuringly. He was only small and he didn’t understand fully that what he did was wrong. You agreed with Tommy in that Charlie needed to understand that stealing wasn’t acceptable. However, Tommy’s reaction had been more than a little over the top. He had never raised his voice at either of the children and you couldn’t say it was something you wished to ever witness again. But what ate you up the most about the whole thing was the look of fury in his eyes. It was the same look that appeared when an enemy had wronged him. And that was what hurt. It hurt that for even a split second he would view your son with those same eyes. And for something so miniscule.

“I know, darling. But next time you see something, no matter how pretty it looks, you must never take it without asking. Do you understand?”

“Yes Mummy,” Charlie sniffed.

“Good boy,” you smiled, kissing his cheek.

“Is Daddy not my friend anymore?” Charlie asked, blinking back more tears.

“Of course he is, my sweet,” you promised him. “Daddy was just a little bit upset, but he still loves you very much and he always will.”

“Ok Mummy,” Charlie nodded. “Can I go and see the horses now? I promised Shadow that I would bring him a carrot today.”

“Come on then.”

…..…..

Tommy watched you both out of his study window. Charlie was hopping around excitedly with a carrot in each hand; the drama of the afternoon seemingly forgotten about. But you hadn’t forgotten about it. He could tell by the way you held yourself. Your face was pinched with upset and your shoulders were ever so slightly hunched over.

Tommy sighed and leant back in his chair, tracing his finger over the charm in his hand. He hadn’t meant to lose his temper and he knew that Charlie hadn’t meant any harm. But it wasn’t so much the act of taking something, it was _what_ he took that had been the problem.

Knowing he had to face the music, Tommy headed out to the stables.

……

You heard him approach; the crunch of the gravel under his perfectly polished boots. Charlie was blissfully unaware and was chattering happily to Shadow about anything and everything.

Tommy sat down on a hay bale beside you and lit a cigarette. His calm exterior infuriated you at times like this. But you refused to speak. You always caved in first and apologised after an argument. Not this time.

“You going to ignore me forever then?” Tommy finally murmured.

“Depends…” you shrugged, still refusing to look at him. “…On whether you’re going to continue being an arsehole forever.”

“I’m sorry, ok?” he said quietly.

“It’s not me you need to apologise to,” you looked at him finally.

“I’ll apologise to him,” Tommy promised you, his eyes focused on his young son feeding his favourite horse. “But first I need to know that you forgive me. And I suppose for that to happen, I need to explain the significance behind this.”

You looked at the charm in his outstretched hand. It was old and weathered, yet hadn’t lost its shine. Tommy twirled it in his fingers as he began to speak.

“You know what this is?” he asked.

You shook your head.

“St Christopher,” he told you. “The patron saint of travellers. It belonged to my mother, just as it belonged to her mother. She gave it to me before she died. Promised me that as long as I had it, I would always be able to find my way back to her.”

And with those few sentences, you understood completely. You reached out and took Tommy’s hand, squeezing it slightly.

“I didn’t mean to get so mad with him,” Tommy swallowed the lump in his throat. The lump that always appeared when he spoke about or thought about his mother. “It’s just the thought of losing it terrifies me. It’s silly I suppose. I don’t need some charm to know that I’ll be back with her again one day, but it’s just…I don’t know… It just makes me feel that a little piece of her is with me even while she’s not. That small boy inside me feels safer somehow.”

“It’s not silly,” you rubbed the back of his hand with your thumb. “It’s not silly at all. But you know, your mother is always here with you no matter what don’t you?”

“I know,” Tommy smiled. “I see her every time I look at Charlie and the baby. They both have her eyes. I see her every time I go back to Watery Lane. But most of all I see her in you. She was just like you. Sweet and kind, but with a mouth to rival a sailor when something upset her. She was the only person who could bring me down at the same time as lifting me up. And you do that. You make see my faults and want to become a better person. You make me want to be better not just for myself but for our family.”

“And we love you for that,” you smiled at him, grasping his face in your hands. “But most of all, we just love you for you.”

You kissed Tommy; your way of telling him that he was forgiven and when he pulled back to smile down at you, he felt a small hand reaching for his.

“I’m sorry for taking your charm, Daddy,” Charlie apologised earnestly.

“I know, Charlie boy,” Tommy lifted him up onto his knee. “I’m sorry I shouted at you. Can we be friends again now?”

Charlie nodded and planted a sloppy kiss on Tommy’s cheek. “I heard you telling Mummy that the charm was Nanna’s.”

“It was,” Tommy nodded. “That’s why I got so upset.”

“I would be upset too, I think,” Charlie said, seeming so much wiser than his years in that moment. “Will you tell me about her? Uncle Arthur said she’s an angel in heaven now and that she was beautiful.”

“That she was,” Tommy smiled. “Why don’t we go into the house and I’ll tell you all about her?”

Leading his wife and child back into the house, Tommy realised that even if he had nothing physical to remember his mother by, he had his memories. Memories were something no one could ever take away. And as he sat by the great fireplace in the living room with Charlie on one knee and the baby on the other, he glanced over at you and smiled. One day, when you were both gone, your children would still have their memories. And Tommy resolved that they would be happy ones.

He would give them memories to last a lifetime.


End file.
